Day 167

MOTHER DAUGHTER

Mother asks her daughter: Beti, Larka kaisa laga?

Daughter: Mein iss larke se shaadi nahin karoongi,

yeh larka bahut mota hai?

Mother: Beti TV 14 inch ka ho ya 29 inch ka,

Remote 6 inch ka hi hota hai.

SWARG

Baithkar unki zulfon ke saaye mein,

Swarg jaisa anand aaya,

Kambhakt, uske baap ne dekh liya,

Shaam ko hospital mein hosh aaya.

LARKIYAAN

Larkiyaan burka pehenti hain, chehra chupaane ke liye,

Wah! Wah!

Larkiyaan burka pehenti hain, chehra chupaane ke liye,

Do aankhein khuli rakhti hain, Larkon ko pataane ke liye.

DOSTI

Aansoon tere nikle, par aankhein meri ho,

Dil tumhaara dharke, par dharkan meri ho,

Khuda kare hamaari dosti itni geheri ho,

Ke, Naukri tum karo, aur salary meri ho.

BOY & CALL GIRL

Boy: S@x mein dono ko mazaa aata hai,

phir Larke se hi paisa kyun?

Call girl: Bevkoof, charge outgoing par hi lagti hai,

incoming par nahin.

Day 166

COLLEGE GIRLS

Girls college mein strike ho gayi.

Sabi girls naare laga rahi theen.

Girls ke saath Boys bhi unka saath de rahe the.

Girls ne naare lagaaye “Hamaari maangein…..

Peeche se awaaz ayi “Sindoor se bhar do.”

 PARO AUR DEVDAS

Bihar ki gali mein paro ki dukaan,

Devdas ne dekhi paro ki muskaan,

Devdas ne khilaaya paro ko paan,

Khaake paan paro boli “Shukriya Bhaijaan.”

MAAN BETA

Beta: Maan, yeh pregnant kya hota hai?

Maan: Beta, gusse ko pregnant kehte hain.

Agle din beta school se aa raha tha aur

ek larki par gir gaya.Uss larki ki maan larke

ko daant ti hai, Toh larka kehta hai: Oye,

gira teri beti par tha aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai.

MOUSE & ELEPHANT

A mouse f#cking an elephant in coconut farm.

A coconut falls on elephant’s head.

Elephant: Ouch!

Mouse: Ouch vouch kuch nahin gaandu, apna

shot toh aise hi hota hai.

MAAN AUR BETI

Beti: Aaj meine ek larke ko bevakoof banaaya.

Maan: Woh kaise?

Beti: Meine uska 500 ka note apni sandal mein

chupa diya aur woh 2 ghante tak meri brazier

mein doondta raha.

Day 165

SURAJ

Suraj hua madhyam, chaand bhi chalne laga,

Mein thehra raha, zameen chalne lagi,

Sajna, kya yehi pyar hai?

Nalaayak, yeh pyar nahin, Earthquake hai.. Bhag!

LAMBHI UMAR

Lambhi umar ke liye kya karna chaahiye?

Answer: Shaadi.

Us se kya zindagi lambi ho jaati hai?

Answer: Nahin, zindagi lambi lagne lagti hai.

NEEND

Neend aati hai, toh khwab aata hai.

Khwab mein ek larki aati hai.

Larki ke peeche uska baap aata hai.

Phir na neend aati hai,

Na khwab aata hai.      

MAN IN A BUS

 Man is smoking in a bus.

Conductor: No smoking ka board nahin dikhta?

Man: Uske side mein Always wear Condom”ka

board hai, ab woh bhi lagaakar baithoon.

SCHOOL CHILD

A child has never seen his hips before.

Once his teacher beats on his hips.

He came home, saw his hips in the mirror

& said: Kamini ne 2 tukre kar diye.

Day 164

HUSBAND

Husband apna white ho,

Lambi jiski height ho,

Mizaaz ko woh light ho,

Jab saas se meri fight ho,

Kahe Sanam, Tum right ho.

SANTA AUR DOCTOR

Santa aska doctor:  Doodh peene se

rang gora hota hai?

Doctor: Haan, ismein calcium hota hai.

Santa: Chal joothe, phir bains ka bacha

kaala kyun hota hai?

SARDAR KA BETA

Ek sardar ka beta 1^st time ATM se cash nikaalne

gaya, achaanak machine jam ho gayi. Usne bank

manager ko bulaaya.

Sardar’s son: Kya bekaar machine hai, ulti seedhee

cheezen maangti hai. Pehle kehti hai, enter card,

phir enter pin. Pin doondkar laaya aur ismein daali

toh saali jam ho gayi.

JAADUGAR

A girl with his boyfriend opened her legs

inviting him to f#ck and asked: Hamaare

baby ka naam kya hoga?

He wears a condom and says: Iske baad

bhi ho gaya toh “JAADUGAR.”

TEACHER

No teacher in class.

Principal entered in class and asked angrily:

Kis ka period chal raha hai?

4 larkiyaan sharmaate hue: Sir, hamaara.

Day 163

LARKA LARKI

Larka: Mere saath chalogi?

Larki: Kahaan?

Larka: Jahaan tum kaho.

Larki: O.K. Police Station chalte hain.

Larka: Lo bataao, ab banda apni behen se

mazaak bhi nahin kar sakta.

PAAGAL

Ek paagal khat likh raha tha.

Doctor ne poocha: Kisko likh rahe ho?

Paagal: Khud ko.

Doctor: Kya likha hai?

Paagal: Mujhe kya pata! Abhi mujhe mila thori hai.

BAAP BETA

Baap: Aaj tak tune aisa koi kaam nahin kiya,

jis-se mera sir ooncha hua ho.

Beta: Meine ek baar aapke sir ke neeche

2 takiye lagaaye toh the.

OLD MAN

A kid asks an old man: What book are you

reading sir?

Old Man: History book.

Kid: But that is a sex book.

Old Man: For me it’s history.

SKODA CAR

Skoda recently launched a new car model LAURA.

All drivers are having a tough time when their

memsahibs say: Driver, Laura Nikaalo.

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