SUNDAY HOLIDAY

Day 060

COCKROACH

Salesman-Sir, Cockroach ke

liye powder loge kya?

Panju-Nahin, hum cockroach

ko itna laad pyar nahin karte,

aaj powder denge to kal

deodorant maangega.

KHUSHI

Ek sahib doosre sahib se-Bhai,

yeh khushiyaan kya hoti hain?

Doosre Sahab-Pata nahin bhai,

meri toh kam umar mein hi shaadi

ho gayi thee.

TEACHER

Teacher is asking mathematical

conversion.

Teacher-1000 kg = 1 Ton, then

4000kg is how much?

Panju- Oye simple, Ton Ton Ton Ton.

DUS BACHE

Ek aadmi ne ek aurat se poocha-

Aapke kitne bache hain?

Aurat-Dus.

Aadmi-Yaani aapki zameen achi

upjaaoo hai.

Aurat-Haraamzaade, meri zameen

upjaaoo nahin, mera kisaan mehenti

hai.

PATI PATNI

Pati-Tum mere kis cheez se zyada

impress ho. Lifestyle, Car, Dressing

ya Bank Balance.

Patni-Aap ke sex se, aap jaisa sex

mohalle mein kisi ko bhi nahin karna

aata.

Day 059

PATI PATNI

Patni ke aansoon aur pati ke

ansoon mein kya farq hai?

Patni ke aansoon farmaaish

poori karwaane mein nikalte

hain jabke pati ke aansoon

unhe poora karte nikal jaate

hain.

HASNA

Jo hamesha hansta rehta hai,

usko kya kahoge?

Hasmukh.

Jiska hasna bilkul band ho gaya

ho, usko kya kahoge?

Hus-band.

GANJU PANJU

Ganju panju se 5 saal baad mila

toh poocha-

“Abbe tere bache pappu aur munni

ka kya haal hai?”

Panju bola-Pappu pass ho gaya aur

munni badnaam ho gayi.

TEACHER

Teacher class mein apne baby

ko doodh pilaate hue boli- Ale

ale mela beta, doodh peeke

doctor banega.

Panju-Mam! Thora humein bhi

pila do, hum compounder hi ban

jaayenge.

JUDGE

Judge-You are accused of rape,

so you are fined Rs. 11,461.

Man-My lord, why exactly Rs. 11,461?

Judge-Rs. 10,000 for rape, 4% vat

and 10.2% entertainment tax.

Day 058

CHAAND

Before marriage

Girlfriend-Chaand kahaan hai?

Boyfriend-Do jagah hai, ek tum

aur ek oopar.

After marriage

Biwi-Chaand kahaan hai?

Pati-Andhi hai, woh oopar kya

tera baap torch leke khara hai.

DOUBLE DECKER BUS

Panju ek din Bombay mein double

decker bus mein baitha.

Conductor ne usse oopar bhej diya.

Panju bhagta hua neeche aaya aur

bola-Marvaaoge kya? Oopar toh

driver hi nahin hai.

CRICKET MATCH

The teacher asked all the students

in a class to write an essay on cricket

match.

All of them were busy writing except

panju. He wrote “Due to rain” no match.

SAADHU

Ek saadhu ek galli se ja raha tha ke

ek bra uske oopar giri.

Saadhu- Wah re prabhu wah, teri

kaisi leela, aam koi choos raha hai

aur chilke hum par phenk raha hai.

SUHAAGRAAT

Suhaagraat pe larke ne larki ki aankh

ko chooma.

Larki-Yeh kya?

Larka-Aankh zindagi ki kitaab hai.

Larki-Neeche library mein aag lagi

hai aur tu kitaab mein gussa hai.

Day 051

DIL

Larkon ka dil Mandir ki tarah

hota hai.

Isliye. Jab larke “I Love U”

bolte hain, toh larkiyaan apne

sandal utaar leti hain

MEHMAAN

Ek din tha jab log ghar

ke deewaar par likhte the-

“Atithi Devo Bhava”

Phir likha “Shubh Laabh”

Phir likha “You Are Welcome”

Aur ab likhte hain-

“Kutton Se Saavdhaan.”

BAAP BETA

Baap-12th ke baad kya karoge?

Beta-BCA.

Baap-Very good, par BCA ka

matlab kya hai?

Beta-Baap ke cash pe aish.

HOOK AND BRA

What is the difference between

Hook in cricket and Bra?

One sends ball out of the

boundary and other keeps the

balls within the boundary.

BAAP BETA

A man busy having sex,

Son-Dad, kya kar rahe ho?

Dad-Mummy ke tank mein

petrol bhar raha hoon.

Son-Fuel meter check karke

daalo, dopahar mein hi Uncle

tank full karke gaye hain.