Day 143

PATI PATNI

Pati: Aaj kiska chehra dekha tha,

saara din khaane ko nahin mila.

Patni: Bedroom ka aaina hata do,

varna roz yehi haal hoga.

PUNJABI SHAADI

Punjabi shaadi ki party mein DJ ne

poocha: Kab tak bajana hai?

Dulhe ka pita: 8 – 10 peg tak baja lo,

uske baad toh yeh sab generator

ki aawaz par bhi naach lenge.

SAZAA

Tony: Boss meine galti nahin ki,

phir be aap mujhe saza kyun de

rahe ho?

Boss: Idiot, zamana prepaid ka hai,

pehle saza bhugto, baad mein galti karo.

Caution: Read, if above 18

DISCOVERY

A girl to her mom: I just found out,

the boy next door has a penis like peanut.

Mommy: You mean, it is small?

Girl: No, it tastes salty.

Joke submitted, courtesy of : Jeevan

Caution: Read, if above 18

SARDAR

Hakeem ne sardarji ke beemaari ka ilaaj

bataya: Ek aurat ka doodh peena parega.

Bahut mushkil se ek aurat raazi hui.

Doodh pilaate hue who aurat garam ho

gayi aur sexy aawaaz mein boli: Doodh

ke alaawa, kuch aur be chaahiye?

Sardar: Agar saath mein biscuit bhi mil jaaye,

toh maza aa jaayega.

Joke submitted, courtesy of : Jeevan

Day 142

DO AURATEIN

Do auratein bus mein seat ke

liye fight kar rahi theen.

Conductor: Jo zyada aged ho,

woh yahaan baithe.

Dono auraton ne ek doosre ko

dekha, aur seat khaali rah gayi.

DOCTOR

Doctor: Aapka weight kitna hai?

Santa: Chasme ke saath 75 kilo.

Doctor: Aur chasme ke bagair?

Santa: Woh mujhe dikhta hi nahin.

PATNI

Santa: Meri patni bahut busy rehti hai.

Banta: Woh kaise?

Santa: Monday se Friday Ekta Kapor

ke serial mein aur Saturday, Sunday

meri galtiyaan nikaalne mein.

Caution: Read, if above 18

TEACHER

Lady grammar teacher: Pappu

mera doodh nahin peeta hai.

Is sentence mein pappu kya hai?

Student: Pappu sust hai, aap

humein ek mauka do, hum nichor denge.

Joke submitted, courtesy of: Ali

Caution: Read, if above 18

MARRIED LADIES

3 married ladies:

1^st lady: Mere pati toh poora haath ghusa

             dete hain.

2^nd lady: Mere toh pair bhi.

3^rd lady: Apni saari uthaake boli, Aji…….

              baahar niklo ji.

Joke submitted, courtesy of: Ali

Day 141

CHINTI AUR HAATHI

Chinti aur haathi ki shaadi hui.

2 din baad chinti vidhwa ho gayi.

Chinti: Wah bhagwan, yeh kaisa

insaaf hai, sirf 2 din ka pyar aur

umar bhar kabra banaane ki saza

di hai.

TEACHER

Teacher: Humein machron ko paida

hone se rokna chaahiye.

Student: Woh to ho hi nahin sakta.

Teacher: Kyun?

Student: Kyunki itna chhota condom

ban hi nahin sakta.

PATI PATNI

Pati: Kya tumne mujhe kutta kaha?

No Answer.

Pati: Phir poochta hai.

No Answer.

Pati: Phir se poochta hai.

Patni: Nahin kaha. Please ab bhowkna

band karo.

Caution: Read, if above 18

MUSIBAT AUR KISMAT

3 Facts of Life:

Garib aur boobs hamesha dabte hain.

Musibat aur popat kabhi bhi khare ho

jaate hain.

Kismat aur bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

Joke submitted, courtesy of : Hassan

Caution: Read, if above 18

ADVOCATE

Vakil: Jab mulzim ne tumpar qaatilana

hamla kiya, uss waqt tumne kya cheez

uthaai hui thi?

Aadmi: Usski biwi ki taangein.

Joke submitted, courtesy of : Hassan

Day 140

DAADI

Ek daadi bhagwat gita ka path

kar rahi thi.

Pota: Daadi, aap kis exam ki

taiyaari kar rahi ho?

Daadi: Final exam ki.

PREMI PREMIKA

Premi apni premika ko kiss karne

lagta hai.

Premika: Abhi nahin, shaadi ke baad.

Premi: O.K., Jab tumhaari shaadi ho

jaaye, mujhe bata dena.

SANTA BANTA

Santa: Ek baar mere oopar se

scooter nikal gaya, par phir bhi

mujhe kuch nahin hua.

Banta: Yeh toh kuch nahin, ek baar

mere oopar se aeroplane nikal gaya,

mein phir bhi bach gaya.

Caution: Read, if above 18

NEW BUDGET

In new budget, all the bra will be

taxed according to the sizes.

40-42 Burden Tax

38-40 Wealth Tax

34-36 Entertainment Tax

32-34 Excitement Tax

22-30 Development Tax.

Joke submitted, courtesy of: Ali

Caution: Read, if above 18

WOMEN

Women have four types of sex.

1.   Asthmatic – Ah aah, ah , ah.

2.   Obedient  - Yes oh yes ah yes.

3.   Greedy     - More more more please.

4.   Religious – Oh God, Oh God.

Joke submitted, courtesy of: Ali

SUNDAY HOLIDAY