Day 097

SHAADI

Shaadi ke waqt mandap mein

larka larki se bola:

Mera 10 larkiyon ke saath

affair raha tha.

Larki: Mujhe pata tha. Jab kundli

mili hai toh character bhi milega hi.

PATI PATNI

Sawaal: Patni maike jaakar pati ko

roz phone kyun karti hai?

Jawab: Ta ke pati ko yaad rahe

ke musibat tali nahin hai, phir

aane wali hai.

MAAN BACHA

Mom: Kyun rote ho?

Son: Dad ne mujhe kisi nahin di.

Mom: Tumne unko table nahin

sunaaya hoga.

Son: Baaju waali aunty ko kaunse

tables aate hain.

AURAT

Sayaane kehte hain ke aurat ke

haath mein barkat hoti hai, jo 3

inch ki cheez haath mein lete hi 6

inch ka bana deti hai.

Joke supplied, courtesy of: Amar

ART GALLERY

In an art gallery, a couple saw a

picture of a girl covered only by

leaves.

Husband keeps watching.

Wife: Ab chaloge ya hawa aane

 tak intezaar karoge.

Joke supplied, courtesy of: Amar

SUNDAY HOLIDAY

Day 096

ACCIDENT

Accident dekhne par logon ke muhn

se kyaexpression nikalta hai?

American   -        Oh my God.

Pakistani    -        Ya Allah.

Chinese     -        Haiya.

African       -        Oh LaLa.

Australia    -        Got a hit.

Indian         -        Gaya saala.

BACHA

Ek bacha mummy se pitne ke baad:

Papa, kabhi aap junglr gaye ho?

Papa: Nahin beta.

Bacha: Phir aap itna khaufnaak item

kahaan se pakar laaye.

PATI PATNI

Aadmi apni biwi se bola: Raja dashrath

ki 3 raniyaan thi, iss hisaab se mein 2

shaadiyaan aur kar sakta hoon.

Biwi: Karlo, bas itna yaad rakhna ke

draupadi ke 5 pati bhi the.

3 GIRLS

3 girls having lunch:

1^st said:I saw the condoms in Boss’s drawer.

2^nd said: I also saw and punctured them.

3^rd: Haraamzaadi, pehlr bataana tha na.

Joke supplied, courtesy of: Kamal

LARKA LARKI

Ek larka larki se: Kitni kaali ho tum?

Larki: Ismein tumhaare baap  ka kya gaya?

Larka: Agar mere baap ka gaya hota toh

tum itni kaali na hoti.

Joke supplied, courtesy of: Kamal

Day 095

STUDENT

Ek student exam copy pe apna

panja bana raha tha.

Teacher: Paper mein toh hand ke

diagram ka question nahin hai.

Student: Sir, paper banaane wale

ko laanat bhej raha hoon.

KUTTA MURGI

Kutte ko murgi se pyar tha.

Usne murgi se shaadi ki.

Kuch dino baad murgi ne khargosh

ko janam diya.

Kutta: Yeh sab kya hai?

Murgi: Ajab prem ki gazab kahaani.

BIKHARI

Bikhari: Babuji bookha hoon. Thora

sa khaana de do.

Banta: Khaana abhi naheen paka.

Bikhaari: Aap number likh lo, jab

khaana pak jaaye toh miss call

kar dena.

BUS CONDUCTOR

Conductor: Bache ka full ticket lagega.

Lady: Yeh toh abhi nipple choosta hai.

Conductor: Woh toh iska baap bhi

choosta hai, toh kya uska bhi aadha loonga.

Joke supplied, courtesy of: Rajesh

DOCTOR

Doctor: Kya takleef hai?

Patient: Sote waqt saas ko lene mein

takleef hoti hai.

Doctor: Aaj se dus din sote waqt, saas

ko nahin, saali ko lo.

Joke supplied, courtesy of: Rajesh

Day 094

LARKA LARKI

Larka: Toote hue dil se pyar karogi

ya dil tootne tak pyar karogi?

Larki:Tooti hui chappal se maar

khaayega ya chappal tootne tak

maar khaayega.

DOCTOR

Larki doctor se: Meri skin bahut soft hai,

mulaayam aur sensitive hai

aur rang bahut gora hai

sone se pehle kya lagaakar soya karoon?

Doctor: Kundi.

OPERATION

Operation se pehle doctor ne phoolon

ka haar mangvaaya.

Mareez: Yeh kis liye?

Doctor: Mera 1^st operation hai.

agar kaamyaab hua toh mere liye

varna tumhaare liye.

JANAAZA

Kabr mein ab tak aashiq ka janaaza para tha

Kabr mein ab tak aashiq ka janaaza para tha

Haddiyaan sookh gayi, par haraamzaade ka

popat abhi bhi khara tha.

Joke supplied by courtesy of: Rajesh

SANTA BANTA

Santa ko ek din hichki aayi aur saath mein

uska popat bhi khara ho gaya.

Santa: Arre wah, lagta hai balbir bhai ke saath

bhabhiji bhi yaad kar rahi hain.

Joke supplied by courtesy of: Rajesh