Day 042

PATI PATNI

Patni-Agar mein gum ho jaaoon, toh

tum kya karoge?

Pati-Mein akhbaar  mein ishtehaar doonga.

Patni-Kya likhwaaoge?

Pati-Jisko milli, usiki.

SANTA

Santa singh ke patni ko 20 saal baad

bacha hua, woh udaas ho gaya?

Banta-Yaar udaas kyun ho?

Santa-20 saal  baad bacha hua hai.

woh bhi itna sa

.LADKA-LADKI

Ladka ladki se-Mein tumhe apna dil

nahin de sakti.

Ladka-Mein utne oopar ki soch bhi

nahin raha tha.

PATI PATNI

Patni ne pati ko sex karne ke time

kaha, mere hips ko nocha mat karo.

Tabhi peeche se naukrani boli-

Achi tarah samjhaao, mein toh samjha

samjha kar thak gayi hoon.

SUHAGRAAT

Suhagraat ko pati patni se poochta hai-

ijaazat hai?

Patni-Haan ji.

Pati poori raat kaam karta hai. Doosre din

patni beemaar ho jaati hai.

Pati biwi ko sasuraal shor kar vaapas aane

ke liye saas se poochta hai-ijaazat hai?

Yeh baat sunkar patni chilaakar bolti hai-

Maan, ijaazat mat dena, nahin toh tumhari

bhi phaar delaga

SUNDAY HOLIDAY

Day 041

TAKLA

Ek machar ek takle ke sir parJa baitha.

Doosra machar bola-Wah, kya ghar

doonda hai.

Phela machar bola-Ghar kahaan re,

abhi toh sirf plot khareeda hai.

JUDGE

Judge-Iss aadmi ke dono kaan kaat do.

Aadmi-Nahin, mein andha ho jaaoonga.

Judge-Kaan kaatne se andhe kaise hoge?

Aadmi-Chashma kya tere baap ke kaan

pe lagaaoonga.

PATI PATNI

Patni-Kyun Ji, aapne toh bola tha without

reason no drinking, abhi why drinking?

Pati-Darling, diwali is coming na, rocket

forne ke liye bottle chaahiye.

SANTA

Santa in Bangkok to lady-How much for

a hand job?

Lady-Rs.500, Do you want one?

Santa-No, I was curious, how much I save

when I do it myself.

BETI

Beti-Maan, tumne kaha tha ke mard ke

dil mein jaane ka raasta aankhon se

hokar jaata hai.

Maan-Haan.

Beti-Lekin kal raat meine doosra raasta

doond liya.

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SHARABI

Ek sharabi marne laga tab bhagwan

prakat hue aur poocha-Koi antim icha?

Sharabi-Agle janam mein ek liver

extra laga dena.

AANKHEIN JHUKI JHUKI

Teri aankhein jhuki jhuki,

Tera chehra khila khila,

Jab tere chehre pe haath ghumaya,

Toh aadha kilo fair & lovely mila.

GAANA

Woh ladka kaunsa gaana gaayega

Agar usse ek amir ladki ka rishta aaye.

Agar tum mil jao, kamaana shor denge hum.

SAMOSA & KACHORI

Lady teacher-Bachon, batao, samosa

aur kachori mein kya fark hai?

Ek shaitan bacha bola-Madam, bra

pehenogi toh samosa dikhega, nahin

pehenogi toh kachori.

CHUNNI

Kavi ki kalpana dekho, arz kiya hai,

Chunni leke soti thi, kamaal lagti thi,

Lo kar lo baat,

Sirf chunni lekar soyegi,

Toh kamaal toh lagegi hi.

Day 039

CHUHA

Chuha billi se darta hai,

Billi kutte se darti hai,

Kutta aadmi se darta hai,

Aadmi biwi se darta hai,

Biwi chuhe se darti hai.

Duniya gol hai.

PAPPU

School mein ishq ka naya

maahaul taiyaar ho gaya,

Class ki teacher ko papu

se pyar ho gaya,

Iss baat se saari class ka

dil udaas ho gaya,

Saari class fail aur papu

pass ho gaya.

JAWANI

Jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye,

Husn ke tevar nokile ho gaye,

Faisla lene mein itne dheele ho gaye,

Ke unke haath peele ho gaye.

WAQT

Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka,

Yeh waqt hai bacha hone ka,

Tab kyun nahin royi thi,

Jab chipak chipak ke soyi thi,

Ab, jo kiya hai woh bharo,

Uss waqt kehti thi aur karo, aur karo.

PAPA

Santa ka beta–Papa, aap papa kaise bane?

Santa-Puttar, Pa Pa Ke.