Day 011

LADKA LADKI

Ladki  apne boyfriend se – Mein maan ban ne wali hoon.

Ladka –Nahin.

Ladki – Oye Paagal! Tere Baap ne mujhe propose kiya hai,

mein teri maan ban ne wali hoon

BACHA

Bacha  chest pe haath rakh ke pencil uthaane ke liye juka

Baap – Chest pe haath kyun rakha?

Bacha – School mein Madam bina haath rakhe juki theen,

Saare fefre bahar aa gaye.

SANTA BANTA

Santa ek ghar ke neeche susu kar raha tha.

Oopar se ek aurat boli, dikhta nahain hai, deewar hai?

Santa bola – Thoda side se dekho, dikh jaayega.

WIFE

What is the difference netween SUN & WIFE?

Yehi ke dono ki taraf Aankh uthaake nahin dekh sakte.

LADKA

Ek 16 saal ka Ladka mar gaya.

Maan boli – Haaye mere bache ne abhi duniya bhi

nahin dekhi thi.

A Girl – Auntie, chinta mat karo, meine dikha di thi.

Day 010

DADAJI
Ladka – Dadaji, Aap itni thand mein, balcony mein,
Bina Pant ke kyun baithe ho?
Dada – Kal bina shirt se baitha tha, meri garden akar ke
Karak ho gayi, yeh teri Dadi ka idea hai.

LUCKY AASHIQ

Dhokha mila jab pyar mein
Zindagi mein udaasi sha gayi
Socha tha aag laga denge is duniya ko
Toh Kambakht colony mein Doosri aa gayi.

RADHA KRISHAN
Naye zamaane ka Krishan, Radha se kehta hai –
Mein Krishan Kanaiya, Tu Radha Gori
Mein Kites ka Hritik, Tu Barbara Mori.
Radha – Zyada line mar maar because I HATE LOVE STORY.

SAAS
Patni Saasu Maan ko message karti hai –
Pyari Saasu Maan, mujhe bachon ko kaise paalte hain, mat sikhaao,
Mein aapke ek bache ko paal rahi hoon.

SWARG NARAK
Yamraj – Tumko Narak mila hai. Par tumhare paapon
Ki saza aisi hogi ke roz raat 2 Glass Daru aur ek Ladki milegi,
Glass mein ched hoga par Ladki mein nahin.

Day 009

Ajeeb Kisa
Ladki apni marzi se de toh PYAR
Dost dilayein toh UPHAAR
Gharwalle dilayein toh SANSKAAR
Aur hum lein lein to, Section-376 IPC Ke Tahat BALAATKAAR.

Callgirl
Most Embarrassing situation –
Husband sitting in a car with his wife and a Callgirl
Comes to wife and says – Paise pehle le lena,
baad mein yeh Aadmi naatak karta hai.

Dost
Mur Mur ke na dekh mujhe
Yun Hanste Hanste
Mere Dost Hain Bare Hoshiyaar
Keh denge Bhabhiji Namaste.

Girlfriend and Boyfriend
Girlfriend – Is week hum shopping karenge.
Next week roz picture dekhenge.
Boyfriend – Uske agle week roz mandir jaayenge.
Girlfriend – Kyun?
Boyfriend – Bheekh maangne,

Pati Patni
Patni –Jab aap baahar jaate hain toh mujhe darr lagta hai.
Pati – Chinta mat karo darling, mein jaldi aa jaya karoonga.
Patni – Isi baat ka toh darr laga rehta hai.

Day 008

Shaadi
Shaadi ki 1st night Dulha – Hamesha Pooja karna, Vrat rakhna,
Daan dena, Sabse Pyar se bolna.
Dulhan pareshaan ho ke baahar gayi aur boli –
Sab andar jaao, Satsang ho raha hai.

Coffee
Bikhaari – Sahab, 10 Rupaiye de do, Coffee pini hai
Aadmi – Lekin Coffee toh 5 Rupaiye ki hai.
Bikhaari – Sahab, Girlfriend bhi hai.
Aadmi – Bikhaari hokar Girlfriend banali.
Bikhaari – Nahin Sahab, Girlfriend ne mujhe Bikhaari bana diya.

Khaandaani Aashiq
Ek Ladka Ladki ka peecha kar raha tha
Ladki – Tumhe pata hai, peeche meri maan aa rahi hai.
Ladka – Hum toh khaandaani Aashiq hain/
Teri Maan ke peweche mera Baap aa raha hai.

Double Meaning
Friend ke saath karo ya Girlfriend ke saath karo
Room mein karo ya Garden mein
Din mein karo ya Raat mein
Bed pe karo ya Sofa par
Paraai toh karni hi hai.

Ladka-Ladki
Ladka – Tum gaana bahut acha gaati ho.
Ladki – Thanks, but I’m just a Bathroom singer.
Ladka – Toh bulaao na kabhi apne live concert par.

Day 007

Computer
Boy – Can I touch and see your hardware?
Girl – First show me your software.
Boy – Should I install it in your system?
Girl – Yes, but first cover it with ANTI-VIRUS.

Double Meaning
You picked me up, You took me Home,
You put your Hands around my waist,
You took off my top, then you put your lips on mine
Thank God I am a bottle of PEPSI.

Engineer
Mechanical Engineer ki wife ko Bacha hua
Wife ne Husband ko SMS bheja –
Aap ka spare part aa gaya hai.
Husband ne reply mein poocha – “NUT HAI YA BOLT”

Verbal Communication
Sadhu – We go years without verbal communication,
We call it MAUNVRAT.
Aadmi – We have the same experience
But we call it MARRIAGE.

Ganju Panju
Ganju – Maan kehti hai ke Bhains ka doodh pee,
Is se Dimaag tez hoga.
Panju – Maan, bevakoof banaati hai, agar aisa hota toh
Bhains ka bacha SCIENTIST hota.