SUNDAY HOLIDAY

Day 035

TEACHER

Teacher – Santa, tum school kis liye aate ho?

Santa – Vidya ke liye.

Teacher – Toh ab so kyun raho ho?

Santa – Aaj vidya nahin aayi sir.

BAAP-BETI

Ladki ka baap – Mein nahin chaahata

ke meri beti apni poori zindagi ek gadhe

ke sahaare guzaare.

Boyfriend – Bas, isiliye mein usse

yahaan se le ja raha hoon.

PATNI

Mein apni patni se divorce chaahata hoon.

woh mujhse 6 mahine se boli nahin hai.

Wakeel – Dobara soch lo, aisi patni

kismat walon ko hi milti hai.

AASHIQ

Ek ladka ladki ke ghar propose karne

ek gulab ka phool le gaya.

Jaise hi usne ghar ki ghanti bajayee

toh ladki ke baap ne darwaza khola.

Ladka–Uncle, please support Anna Hazare

TALAAQ

Talaaq ke baad Pati aur Patni apna

saamaan alag kar rahe the.

Pati patni ka bra dete hue bola –

Yeh lo apni doodh ki dukaan.

Patni pati ka underwear dete hue boli –

Yeh lo apne murde ka kafan.

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Day 034

SANTA BANTA

Santa – Yaar, tu jo ladki dekhne gaya tha,

uska kya hua?

Banta -  Meine saaf mana kar diya, kyunki

usne bahut medal jeete hain.

Santa – Arre, yeh toh chi baat hai.

Banta – Par usne ve saare medal boxing

mein jeete hain.

LADKA LADKI

Ladka – Aapki umra kya hai?

Ladki – Kya karoge jaankar?

Ladka – Haaya mein mar jaavan, inhi

adaaon ke kaaran toh pooch raha hoon.

Ladki – Theek hai, Mar jaao, oopar

jaakar yamraj se pooch lena.

TEACHER STUDENT

Teacher – Har safal aadmi ke peeche ek

aurat ka haath hota hai. Is sentence se

tum kya samajhte ho?

Student  - Yehi ke kitabon mein time waste

karne se acha hai kisi ladki ke peeche jana.

DIVORCE

Ek aurat apni saheli se poochti hai –

Jab tera divorce hua tha, tab toh ek hi

bacha tha aura b 3 kaise?

Saheli ne kaha – Woh kabhi kabhi maafi

maangne aa jaate hain

LADIES SUIT

Ek aadmi ek kapde ki dukaan pe gaya.

Aadmi dukaandaar se – Mujhe ek ladiesuit chaahiye.

Dukaandaar – Sir, Patni ke liye chaahiye

ya koi acha sa dikhaoon.

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Day 033

MACHAR

2 Machar bike par ja rahe the.

Tabhi haathi ne lift maangi. Toh

ek machar khara hokar bola –

Dekh le, phir teri maan bolegi

ke lafango ke saath ghoom raha hai.

EXAM

Baap – Exam kaisa hua?

Beta – Question no.1 shoot gaya,

Question No. 3 aata nahin tha.

Question no. 4 karna bhool gaya,

Question no. 5 nazar nahin aaya.

Baap – Aur Question no. 2?

Beta – Wahi galat ho gaya.

BHAI

Santa – Hamare ghar bhai aanewala hai.

Banta – Kaise?

Santa – Jab last time mummy hospital

mein admit hui theen, toh behen aayi thi,

ab papa admit hue hain.

MOM & DAD

Kid – Why dad & mom are in their

room since 5 days.

Sister – Don’t know but why are you laughing?

Kid – Dad asked me for Vaseline, I gave

him fevicol.

GIRLS

Three girls gossiping:

Anjali – Aaj meine tuition wale sir

ke table par condom dekha.

Monilisa – Aur meine usmein ched kar diya.

Alka – Marva diya, haraamzaadi.

Day 032

MARRIED LIFE

Maan ne apni beti se poocha – How your

married life is going on?

Beti ne sharmaate hue jawab diya – It is

just like the advertisement of British Airways.

Jab maan ne advertisement dekhi, toh woh

shock ho gayi. Advertisement tha -

7 days a week, twice a day, both ways

GABBAR AUR SAMBA

Samba – Sardar, Thakur ka kya karna hai?
Gabbar - Kuch nahin, uske haath kaat do

aur roz usse 3 blue films dikhaao, woh

khud hi tarap tarap ke may jaayega.

REMIX SONG

Maha boob mere, maha boob mere

Tere bistar pe mujhe sone de

Bahut doodh hai tere seene mein

Mujhe daba daba kar peene de.

NON VEG

Bacha (looking at breast) – Maan ye kya hai?

Maan – Baloon.

Bacha – Aapke itne chotte aur kaamwali ke

Itne bade kyun?

Maan – Tune kab dekha?

Bacha – Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.

ADULT

Buy a scooty

Pick up a beauty

Drink a Fruity

Take her to ooty

Remove her nighty

Do your duty

After 9 months

Get a cuty.